I am not Martha. You are safe here.

My friend Tracie pointed me in the direction of a blog entry on Mommy Bloggers:

I miss the days when Martha Stewart was the only woman who could make me feel like a slacker. Martha, with her perfect hair, her effortless style, her brilliant ideas, her ability to find a use for everything and give everything a use. Between her estate gardens and her glue gun acumen, she was my go-to gal for inspiration, ideas and instruction.

I knew I could never quite accomplish her amazing feats of craftiness, but that was okay. After all, no one can really be Martha. She has personal assistants, stylists, gardeners, wealth. I could laugh at my attempts to “channel Martha” and just have fun.

Now, however, I’ve discovered a rabbit hole of blogging mommies who make Martha Stewart look like she spends her day watching soaps and eating bon-bons.

No nannies.

No assistants.

No stylists.

Uniformly, they are cute – slender, stylish, trendy. They have the ability to look at a dress in a thrift store and restructure a work of art suitable for a black tie party. They create their children’s clothing and sell the patterns. They are creative enough to make every birthday party, every holiday look like something out of a magazine. Their photography is professional, their writing is interesting, their interests are complex and varied. They recycle, reuse and look fabulous while doing so.

I love them.

I hate them.

I so want to be them.

I think it’s time to go back to Martha. My self-esteem can’t handle the collective creativity.

I just want you all to know you don’t have to worry about that here.  When you’re here, your self esteem is safe.  You will see pictures of kids being naughty and crying, with my messy house and unkempt yard in the background.  You won’t have to worry about looking at pictures of a mom who was back into her size 3 jeans immediately after delivering her kids.

There will be no criticism here if you don’t eat all healthy organic meals that you prepare from scratch while doing educational crafts with your kids.  I will never ever condemn anyone for their birthing/breastfeeding/circumcising/etc decisions.  And I hope no one ever feels inferior just because I spit out a bunch of kids.  If you choose to have two or one, it’s ok.  I am not a better parent because I have more.

And in turn, I hope I never get all whiny about how my life is so difficult because of all my kids or my certain life circumstances.  I don’t want to ever be the one-upper- not of who does it better or who has it worse.  If I ever get like that, smack me and remind me of this post.

We’re all moms.  (Well the vast majority of my readers, anyway).  We are all equals.  We may do things differently, but the bottom line is we are all just trying to do what’s best for our families- and that- not what religion we practice or what political party we support- is really what matters the most at the end of the day.


  1. 1

    BRAVO!!! *standing up and clapping* I like to think I am the same way Jayme, I do things the way I do them because they are right for my family. I am by no means perfect.
    .-= Stephanie Melski (anglbabysteph)´s last blog ..The Months Fly By =-.

  2. 2

    That right there is proof of what being a good mom is all about! If your kid turns out half a good as mine did, you have to be very proud of the job you did…..fyi….Jayme is MY kid and I could not be more proud!!

  3. 3

    I wish I could be more like one of those mommies, but unless they start prescribing pep pills to house wives again, not happening!

  4. 4

    I feel like the person with the original post. I’m not interesting, or funny or crunchy or any of that. Therefor my blog is mostly ignored. So yeah. I can relate. But, I faithfully read yours because YOU have never made me feel inadequate. I feel people’s blogs lose a lot when they become “bloggy famous” because then they post for an audience, and it’s boring and tedious to read. I prefer “real” blog posts. Posts that say, I can’t do this, I can’t handle this…. my life sucks occasionally. But you know this about me from LJ. I have always dumped the fake, phony, my life is rainbow and kittens kind of people.
    .-= jamie´s last blog ..No Feed Key Found =-.

  5. 5

    awww I want your mommy, just because of her comment here. 🙂
    .-= jamie´s last blog ..No Feed Key Found =-.

  6. 6

    Your mommy rocks.

    And OMG hear, hear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I question how ‘real’ those blogs are actually. I’m pretty onto it with time management and house keeping and I can’t even HOPE to be like that. I don’t try. Maybe they don’t have a life? Or maybe their kids aren’t allowed to get dirty? I dunno. I don’t care. That’s why I like blogs like yours – they’re so obviously real. Coz that’s how you roll 🙂

  7. 7

    “Real” mom here too! Well said!! I’m so glad I found your blog!! My house is normally messy but clean, same with the me and the kids on most days 🙂 I do the best I can. And I love hearing how other moms are doing. So thank you!!
    .-= Natalie´s last blog ..You Know You’re A Mom When-sDaze =-.

  8. 8

    Great post. I totally know how you feel. Sometimes I wonder just how happy those “perfect moms’ are.
    .-= Sarah´s last blog ..I think my children are cute, just not during the hours of 8 p.m. and 6 a.m. =-.

  9. 9

    my favorite post EVER thank you!!!!
    .-= Sheila´s last blog ..Club 254 =-.

  10. 10

    This is fantastic. I keep reading about all the mom on mom blogger picking going on lately. Totally sucks!
    .-= Pamela @ 2 much testosterone´s last blog ..What is this whole "Mom Sexy" business? =-.

  11. 11

    I love this post. I couldn’t agree more. I think one of the reasons people (at least me) like you is because you are real and non-judgemental. We are all in it together, why take the time to judge. You are awesome!

  12. 12

    I’ve never understood where those women find the ENERGY. Do they even take the time to PLAY with their kids in their perfect worlds? Gah.

    I’m gonna stick with being an “un-mom”-like mom 😉
    .-= Keely´s last blog ..Resurrecting abysmal fashion trends since 2003 =-.


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