I am most clumsy and awkward when pregnant. I could tell you many stories of various injuries I sustained during my gazillion pregnancies, like the time I broke my tailbone leaping over the baby gate trying to beat the cat for pooping NOT in the litter box when I was 8 months pregnant. There’s no proof of said injury, because they refuse to xray a pregnant woman for an break they can’t do anything about. But I swear, if it wasn’t broken, then I don’t ever want to break anything.
But I think my most awkward moment was when I went all Charlie’s Angel on the bathroom door. Granted, I didn’t end up injured, but I seriously could have, looking back.
I was quite pregnant with Mia, so Lili was all of two years old. The boys were at school, so it was just me and Lili at home during the day. We were in the process of transitioning Lili from her crib to a bed so that Mia could use the crib, and it was nap time. Being a brazillion months pregnant, I chose to nap once Lili went to sleep. Oh, who am I kidding? Even not pregnant I’d have chosen to nap…
I was awakened to the sounds of water running and Lili calling for me. Apparently, Lili woke up before me, and decided she needed a bath. She also decided she needed privacy and locked the bathroom door. Her little two year old voice was yelling out to me “MOMMY HOT HOT HOT!” as I frantically tried to get the door open. I told her to stop touching the hot water and I’d get her out, but as hard as I tried, I could not pop the lock. People make it look so easy- it’s one of those doorknobs with the little hole- and I tried poking everything and anything that would fit in there.
Her cries were getting desperate, and so was I. Determined to save my baby girl, I decided I’d kick the door in. It didn’t even budge. Since our bathroom is at the end of the hallway, I figured I’d use the momentum from speed to knock down the door. I backed up all the way down the hall and ran at it full speed, and kicked, just like they do in the movies- only I was 8 months pregnant and in my pajamas still. I’m pretty sure that’s why it didn’t work- they are all wearing leather catsuits and high heels. I’m sure if I’d taken the time to don the appropriate outfit I would have been successful.
Finally I realized I needed help and ran next door and grabbed our neighbor. He had the lock picked in seconds. I scooped Lili out of the tub (who also was still in her pajamas) and she was totally fine. My visions of scalding water flowing over the sides and flooding my bathroom while my daughter drowned in the tub were for nothing, since she didn’t know how to plug the drain. The water was hot, but not burn yourself hot.
I had Aaron disable the locks on the bathroom door when he got home from work.
Sometimes, looking back, I wish I had a video of me trying to kick the door down- it had to be a hilarious sight. Instead, this re-creation will have to do.