PYHO- Perfection.

I get so frustrated by people who think they’re ‘helpful’ and give you parenting advice.  I’m not talking about family and friends who know me and know my kids- that’s totally different.  No, I’m referring to that random lady behind my cart at the check out line of the grocery store.  You know, the one who asks if the boys are twins, and then proceeds to inform me that one is bigger than the other.

Generally, this same lady feels the urge to comment on Ryan’s eyes.  She of course knows someone who had a kid who had a lazy eye and tells me I should bring him to the doctor and get him glasses and start patching it.

Tells me it will fix it right up.

As if I am such a crappy mother that I have never noticed any issues with his eyes.

As if we don’t bring him to the doctor all the time.

As if a little patching will cure cancer.


This little guy, with his wonky eyes, is my amazing miracle boy.  He is perfect with all of his imperfections.

If only those ‘helpful’ ladies knew of how much he was wanted, how much we went through to get him here, and how incredible he is for all he can do when his doctors say that he is most likely legally blind.  If they knew how astonishing he is for going through chemotherapy treatments that have brought strong, grown men to their knees with barely a whimper, maybe they would see him how I see him, instead of just seeing his ‘lazy’ eye.

They would see that he is absolute perfection as he is, crossed eyes and all.


  1. 1
    Michelle says:

    That’s when you make her feel like shit and reply I don’t think patching will cure cancer. Maybe it will teach her a lesson! I hate when people do shit like that!

  2. 2
    Danielle says:

    He is perfect, strong, and wonderful. He has been a fighter since day one. I know how proud of him you and Aaron are, and that is all the matters.

    I know it’s hard to let the comments roll off your back, maybe you can teach Ryan the middle finger, innapropriate? Ok I guess it is lol!

  3. 3

    He is the picture of perfect to me. I agree with Michelle. I would be inclinded to say patching doesn’t cure cancer. Idiots!

  4. 4

    You are so right ~ He is PERFECT. And every time someone asks me (like just last night) some stupid question, I wanna just lay it all on the line for them. Sometimes I do, other times I don’t. You are exactly the mom he needs!

  5. 5

    He is perfect and beautiful in every way! I love Michelle’s suggested response! I’d have a hard time not unleashing on someone who made simple assumptions based on poor judgement.

  6. 6

    people are dumb. i have a bloggy friend that is married to someone that is legally blind. he’s attending boston university (i think) and is president of some blind student society or chapter or something. I’m telling you all this because their life is perfect – they have 2 little girls and it’s perfect.

    • 7

      I know Ryan will be OK, he’s got a twin to help him out and stick up for him at school 🙂 I like to think that’s why we got two 🙂

  7. 8

    Well first of all, he is ADORABLE! ANd you are right he is a miracle. My favourite is when people let you know that your child might be cold or need a sun hat that one time you ran out of the house and didn’t have everything you needed.

    • 9

      People are so nosy. For awhile, when no kids were in school and my husband was on nights, we all were on nights. That way our time could be spent together, not being quiet while Daddy slept. We’d go to all night restaurants at weird hours, grocery shop at 2am… and people would always tell us to take our kids home and put them in bed.

  8. 10

    He is my new hero.
    And he is a doll!!!

    Maybe she is just out of kids to “mother” so she chose you.

  9. 11

    WHAT is wrong with all these clueless people????

  10. 12

    People are so stupid sometimes! Next time someone says something like, you really should turn around and say “patches don’t cure cancer”.

  11. 13

    You are 100% right! I would probably tell those ladies off! And he is perfect!! :).

  12. 14

    Wait . . . you didn’t tell them this? I don’t think I would have been able to keep my mouth shut!

    • 15

      I have said stuff in the past, but I try not to let my inner rude bitch come out when I’ve got the girls with me because they pick up on it.

  13. 16

    Aside from the fact that those people at the grocery can shove it!… Your post really brought tears to my eyes. I don’t know what exactly it was but your words just drew a perfect picture of how much you love your children. What a great mama you are!

  14. 17
    Brittany says:

    I agree with the above comments, youre a great mom. I know I’d definitely return with a sarcastic comment or two. People are so stupid.

  15. 18

    Stupid. I would go with the cancer bit. I would say Thanks for your suggestions and then say the above comment..

    He is perfect. they all are 🙂

  16. 19

    I would just politely as I could, say thanks, but he had cancer, and he’s a survivor, but I appreciate your concern. That ought to shut them up.

  17. 20

    and he is totally adorable! Screw her…..I would have said something about cancer to shut her up 🙂

  18. 21

    He is perfect! A beautiful, adorable bundle of cuteness!

  19. 22

    This is beautiful and made me tear up. Love that baby boy!

  20. 23

    oooo people like that make me SO MAD! I have a friend who has a little girl with alopecia and she once got berated by a stranger on the street for “shaving her daughter’s head”

    Your boy is a gorgeous precious thing. Hands down!

  21. 24
    Christine Seipp says:

    I can kinda relate to the rude people…When I was preggers with Kate, I didnt know if she was a boy or girl. I wanted to be surprised. One day, near the end of my pregnancy, my huge whale of a belly and I decided to go to Shoprite. When I was checking out, the woman behind me asked if I was having a boy or a girl. I told her I did not know. She started yelling at me that I was stupid! She asked my mother quite rudely why she didnt make me find out!! I was flabbergasted!! About 4 weeks later, as I was leaving that same ShopRite, the woman started yelling at me across the parking lot. Yes, That same woman was yelling at me again! I was pushing my groceries to the car with Kate in her baby seat in the top of the cart and she asked me…”you havent had that baby yet?” I walked away.

    Then, when Kate was going off for her first day of Kindy, she was getting on the bus and the bus driver huffed…”these parents today, letting these kids wear platform shoes…”, her face dropped when she saw that it was on one foot only, Kate was wearing a 3 inch shoe lift on the left side because she was born with one leg shorter than the other!! I just smiled at her and said…”I wish I had the luxury of chosing her shoes for her!”

    It will get better one day, Kate has taught me that…
    I used to explain her diasability to everyone who asked until Kate was 8 and told me it was easier just to tell them that her leg was broken. She was right!

    Good luck with the next rude person you come across!