A list of things… especially for Claire

9.  People will pay real money to have fake money in a free game.

8.  95% of the men I know don’t play Facebook games.

7.  Those who don’t play the games get all huffy about seeing the posts on their page and threaten to quit Facebook until someone finally explains to them how to hide them.

6.  The longer  you play a game, and the higher level you get, the more friends you need to play with you if you are going to continue.

5.  I have lots of friends named Amanda, Jennifer, Jessica and Stephanie.

4.  The Mafia hangs out in Bangkok.

3.  The vast majority of meals consist  of three ingredients.

2.  They are also prepared in only three steps.

1.  Poultry Puddin’ is another name for chicken poop.

Oh my some of the pages on Facebook are hysterical. I’ve compiled a list of 10 that have made me laugh out loud. In no particular order, this is just the way they fell when I was linking them. If any of you are a fan of any of these pages, please tell me so I can laugh at you join with you.

10. i hate when you look in your closet for clothes and find narnia instead- Doesn’t everyone? I mean, what happened to that sundress you were about to put on? And what if I was standing there naked, fresh out of the shower? Is all of Narnia staring at my body?

9. When I was your age, we had to blow on the video games to make them work.- Oh those were the good old days. In fact, we still have an old school original Nintendo floating around here somewhere. And a Super Nintendo. And a N64. Oh and to go back a wee bit further, we even have an Intellivision in the attic.

8. After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar is like W T F- Obviously the calendar has the same types of Mondays as I do. And Tuesdays.

7. okay so your really ugly, please stop taking seductive pictures of yourself- Don’t you love the pouty lipped Myspace poses that girls do? Or how about the kissy face one? What ever happened to smiling?

6. MY SISTER SAID IF I GET ONE MILLION FANS SHE WILL NAME HER BABY MEGATRON- Dude. I hope it’s at least a boy. And I’d totally only let someone name my baby something stupid for money- and lots of it. I wouldn’t settle for a Facebook fan page!

5. God still loves me, even if I don’t forward those text messages- This is one of my pet peeves- getting messages that tell me if I believe in God I’ll forward this to everyone in my address book. Are you going to pay my monthly cell phone bill if I go over my texting limit? No? Then don’t send me forwards, even if God tells you to.

4. Can this Pickle get more fans than Twilight?- Oh GAWD I hope the pickle wins. I read Twilight, and I wasn’t very impressed. I totally think pickles have better qualities than those books.

3. I Don’t Get Drunk, I Get AWESOME- This page is much nicer than the ‘When I get drunk I cheat on my spouse’ page, don’t you think?

2. I’ve always wanted to mattress surf down a long flight of stairs- As soon as I read this, I regretted the fact we live in a one story house. Think of the fun my kids could be having right now!

1. I check behind the shower curtain for murderers when i go into the bathroom- Doesn’t everyone? I mean, isn’t there a bad guy in every single bathroom in every horror movie? I mean, not checking is blasphemy! It’s like forgetting to lift your feet up when you drive over a bridge so your feet don’t get wet!

I love Facebook, I really do. I totally get caught up in all the games- Mafia Wars, Cafe World, you name it. I know so many people can’t stand them, so I’ve altered my Facebook settings so that it doesn’t automatically publish every little thing I do in each game. Instead, when I want to, I have to manually do it. That way my page isn’t covered in crap that isn’t interesting to others.

I like doing the little silly quizzes, but again, I don’t publish very many of those. I mean, I am pretty sure that my father doesn’t care what type of underwear I should wear, or if I’m a good kisser. I don’t work, but I’m sure if I did, I wouldn’t want some coworkers seeing stuff like that either. I think there are certain things better left censored. I swear way too much, but I try really hard not to use curse words here- or on Facebook.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this, so bear with me. I think this stemmed from my pet peeves post earlier today… plus I’m not feeling very hot and the cold meds I’ve taken are making me tired and a bit loopy.

Just recently, there was this thing going around Facebook telling women to put their bra color as their status to raise awareness for breast cancer. My friends were divided- a bunch did it, and thought it was fun. And several thought it was inappropriate, and posted messages with things like ‘Breastfeeding reduces your chance of breast cancer, and the longer you nurse, the the lower your risk. Post this instead of your bra color to raise awareness.’

You know though, I don’t think that raises awareness at all. Maybe I’m cynical, but I know I skip right past all the ‘Post XX to your status if you know someone with cancer/diabetes/autism/dead babies.’ I’ve never been a fan of chain letters or email forwards. I think instead of copying and pasting something, maybe you could donate a dollar to the March of Dimes, St. Jude’s, whatever is close to your heart.

I’d rather see pictures of your kids and hear what you’re having for dinner on Facebook. And now I really should take a nap…